Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hoy, Ronnie Puno!

Anak ng putakti!

Hoy, Mike Defensor!

Bugok!

Nek-nek mo!

Hoy, siRAULo Gonzalez!

Syet you!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Make luto like they made lutong macao the election!

Here's a recipe for a stink bomb.

Remember, they're not illegal. Just baho to death.

Mix-mix. Then when you've made timpla, here's a list of targets. Enjoy!

Paputokin ang Nunal!

Let's make putok the pandak.

Mag kilikili power!

It's easy. Just don't make ligo. Not all the time, but when you know you will meet Miss Nunal.

Then, when you're near her, just raise your arms!

Anghitin ang lagim!

Friday, March 03, 2006

Achoo! You're yucky like my uhog, GMA!

Sa ikakabuti ng bayan, bahing ang kailangan!

Make sneeze-sneeze na at GMA! Put your uhog to work!

It's very simple and Earth-friendly.

If you go to any government-sponsored event, sneeze in your hand.

Never mind if its medyo yuck. It's for the good of the country.

Now wait until GMA or any of her tuta are near. Shake their hand.

100 extra points if you sneeze in her face. Say sorry na lang, M'am after.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Makibaka! Magkulangot!

Today's inspirational message is:

Kulangot power!

Next time you find yourself in a government ceremony, make kulangot.

Hopefully, you have plenty of kulangot.

You can roll your kulangot in a ball.

Then, when GMA, Mike Arroyo, Mikee Arroyo, Luli Arroyo, Mike Defensor, Raul Gonzalez, etc. pass near you....

Flick your kulangot in their eye.

Or, you can wipe your kulangot on their clothes.

Or, you can put the kulangot in the palm of your hand and shake their hand.

Because, GMA is kadiri na. Like a sticky  kulangot.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I swear, kumapal ang buhok ko! Like GMA's face!

Find yourself bored in a room full of the ULAP type super-sipsips? Why not...

Create and light a Hair Stink Bomb!

It's metal detector-proof! It's super baho-ness will impress!

Perfect for all government-sponsored assemblies!

i-Shit bomb si Mike Defensor

Toxic Tommy teaches you to make a Shit Bomb.

Non-lethal! Perfectly legal! Super baho! Like GMA!

The Toxic Tommy Shit Bomb will also work for any cabinet member, Comelec commissioner, congressman, or provincial governor who talks tae to you!

Makitae! Huwag matakot!

Monday, February 27, 2006

Isuka ang pekeng pangulo!

Ober hir at GMA Stinks, we believe in fighting poverty. Da ole fashioned way. You gotta earn it.

And so, as the inaugural promo for this blog, we announce: the first ever (tan-ta-ra-ra!!!) GMA Stinks Bounty!

Yes! We offer no less than One Handred Yunaytedisteyts dollars for the first ever person to achieve the following mission.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is: puke on the fake President! That's it! It's not a crime! But it's fun!

All you have to do is have a friend with a camera, whenever GMA makes one of her public appearances. Go up to her. Tell her you love her. Then make suka all over her.

Just e-mail us the photo and we pramis to send you USD$100. Guaranteed!!! We'll throw in an extra USD$50 if you manage to puke on her with media to record the event for history!

Game ka na ba? Game na!

Too baho na talaga

She's too full of pakeng shet na.

Stop holding your nose. Rub her mess in her face.

We will be showing you how. Pramis.